Little Secrets: To Be Free

I have been especially bad with my posts lately. I think it's been a few months since I've written anything.

I have been pretending not to 'live here'. To be somewhere else. Somewhere I don't have to acknowledge I still like in the same house as the last 5 years with no money to travel.

Somewhere, where life is more exciting than a movie Friday night, party Saturday night, church Sunday night and the in between filled up by obligations and expectations.

I watched Into The Wild last week. Every time I see it, I desire adventure. I recently made friends with a 'Dare Devil'. He actually kyakked across the Bass Straight in 3 months, and climbs mountains and does expeditions through the Antartic. It creates a longing in me, to hear these stories, for adventure.

As a teenager, I climbed the highest peak in South East Asia, white water raffed the rapids in Thailand, Malaysia, Borneo and Indonesia. Absailed, caved, camped and built houses and orphanages throughout SEA. Those things were 'fulfilling'. They made me believe happiness can be achieved and not something merely learnt through mindset.

I have spent the last 2 years without leaving the country. Cramped at a desk, writing thousands of words a day. Some meaningful to special people, and some on behalf of important and some of no meaning at all. I answer calls, return calls, send messages, see friends, listen to problems, read books, watch movies, laugh and cry, but never really truly feel alive.

I crave adventure. New experience.

We all do. Deap down. When we are truly honest with ourselves. We formulate an excistence around living 'normal' and 'comfortable'. And while it does satisfy us for a time, there is a growing itch and desire for our eyes to lay hold of something new and beautfiul. For our ears to be challenged by a language or mindset we have never heard. Our feet to take the territory far removed from what we already own.

Financial collaps has seen dreams of travel put on hold temporarily. But that is the beauty of dreams. They exist. If only in your mind. But the power of the mind is so forceful it can, with enough determination put legs on the dream and see it run.

I will see the children of Uganda, and the lions of the Safari.