conclussion of the heart

i'm gone. i've given it. the one thing that is truly mine to give. something no one can give outside of consent.

my heart is new zealand.

he is all i hoped and all i dreamed. and i am lovers fool.

i dream about a boy i met for 20 minutes, twice. i watch him on youtube, and re-read his emails a thousand times in between the next. i hold my breath that each email will include an initation for phone calls, and went weak at the knees when i recieved a NZ holiday invitation.

but how much longer can one hold their breath with a heart that beats against the walls of the chest in desperation. i feel that if i were to stand before him, it would pound out of my chest and into his arms.